Positive Reviews!

So, I currently have the introductory scenes for 4 of my antagonists.  3 for the first book, 1 for the second book.

Since my sister is the only person I know who could appreciate fantasy-style writing, I gave the sections to her for a read.  Thought what was written was good, but not too much in-depth feedback.

Though the wife does not read fantasy or sci-fi (the closest thing to it that she reads are the Eve Dallas books by JD Robb), I gave them to her for a read.

Her feedback:


This is 3 pages at the moment.

Too much sexualising of the main protagonist?  Considering she is meant to be a jaw-dropper, it made sense.

Fair enough, use the other antagonist’s perspective to visualise her.  He is a male, he’s gotta appreciate jaw-dropping beauty right?

Despite that, the wife likes the main antagonist as a character.  Which was amusing later on.


This section is in limbo at the minute, since it may be scene 3 or scene 4.  A big fight scene that’s 5 pages.

The wife:  “Wow, I hate her now!  Her Dad’s awesome!”  Not sure if that is good or bad.  Since the antagonist’s Dad is a stand-up bloke who proves his awesomeness, and she secretly wants to beat him…  Yeah, I can see that.


This popped into my head yesterday morning for another character, and once typed up was a tiny bit over 2 pages.

Not too much to change, but the wife liked the characterisations and wants to know what the character has that will be ‘of great interest’.


This was the section mentioned in the previous post.

It has been placed here because the wife read it and said, “That is awesome!  It’s a perfect first chapter to the next book.”

Start new books with a bang to get the reader’s interest? An action scene must be the way to go about it =)

Unfortunately, it means a reshuffling of the pacing, but I thought it was needed anyways.  If the 2nd book starts with the 6 antagonists teamed up against 1 protagonist…  Yeah, kinda lopsided and not believable.

But, positive reviews!  Woohoo!


3 thoughts on “Positive Reviews!

  1. Though I cut my eye teeth literarily speaking on “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit,” and many, many fastasies by Andre Norton and later (much later) Sheri Tepper, I’ve yet to read a fantasy series that spurs me onwards and creates a whole new world as successfully as Daniel Heath Justice’s “The Way of Thorn and Thunder: The Kynship Chronicles” does. The trilogy has recently been released in a revised omnibus version, and I have to say that the “genre and gender bending” qualities go way beyond Tolkien in contemporary applicability. What qualities I longed for when reading Tolkien even at a young age (whether a more updated male lead or a stronger female cast of characters) I found here recently. And I’ve only begun to read! A la Tolkien, the volume comes complete with maps and indexes of character names and stories. It’s really quite awesome (and I reserve that much over-used word for a very few things). (Just in case you’re looking for something else which has received “awesome” as a review term!)

    • Nearly all of my teenage years were spent reading Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler books, since my Dad bought them and my brother read them also. My feeling was that both authors peaked at ‘Executive Orders’ and ‘Inca Gold’ respectively, so did not read for a while.
      Trying to find a creative present for my first girlfriend, I bought her ‘Eye of The World’ by Robert Jordan. And, pretty much since then, 98% of what I read has been fantasy. My ‘books read’ tracking spreadsheet can verify this.
      Now working on a reading a lot of historical epics (Iliad, Odyssey, Shahnameh) and historical fiction (Conn Iggulden, religious texts?) to make my story world more ‘zazzy’ =)

  2. Pingback: Fellow Aspiring Writer for 05 July 2013 | D. James Fortescue

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